


Drag-on Me Down (i.e., Peter's Aunt Sneezes, and nearly razes the apartment to the ground)

by EmSonderling, peachgalaxy



Series: Tipping the Scales [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Dragon AU, F/M, Fluff, Hoarding, May is a dragon, Peter is a nestling, Shenanigans, dragon!Darcy, slice-of-life-of-part-of-a-series, we had so much fun writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-24 19:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17709995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmSonderling/pseuds/EmSonderling, https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachgalaxy/pseuds/peachgalaxy
Summary: The tags (and title) are honestly everything you need to know. First part in a series of Dragon!Darcy one-shot snippets!(Disclaimer: No apartments were actually injured in the making of this fic)





	Drag-on Me Down (i.e., Peter's Aunt Sneezes, and nearly razes the apartment to the ground)

**Author's Note:**

> Set just after the events of Thor: The Dark World

“AH-CHOOO!”

 

“Darcy!”

 

“Whub?”

 

“You can’t just--”

 

_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKSCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKSCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK_

 

The wailing shriek of a fire-alarm drowned out the rest of Peter’s indignant shout. Darcy coughed up another plume of smoke, before snuggling deeper into the mountain of blankets stacked on the couch.

 

“Jus’ pud i’ oud, Peder,” she warbled.

 

Peter yelled some more, frantically trying to smother the house plant Darcy had sneezed on. Said plant currently resembled a cheerfully crackling yule log, despite her nephew’s best efforts to smother the flames. Sparking sneezes were an unfortunate side effect of being a sick dragon. Luckily, Darcy’s sister didn’t mind sibling crashing on the couch while she waited out the fever, magma-snot and all. 

 

“That’s what you get for swallowing a Dark Elf whole, Darce.” May winced at the continuous wail of the alarm. She picked a chunk of amber the size of a tennis ball (one of her favorite hoard-pieces) off the messy kitchen table and lobbed it the fire alarm. Unsurprisingly, it shattered. 

Both Peter and Darcy paused at this uncharacteristic display of violence. Temporarily forgotten, the burning house plant crackled merrily between them.

May dusted off her hands. “That’s better. Peter, dear, you can handle the...accident. You’re already twice as good at pyromancy as Ms. Fire-Breather over there was at your age.”

Just then, Darcy felt less like a fire-breather and more like a piping hot mess. She didn't regret the cause of her sniffles, though. During the London invasion, a dark elf had been poised to shoot Selvig with his Phaser rip-off. Darcy had expressed her displeasure by relieving the elf of his head. Followed quickly by all other existential responsibilities. (She kept the trashy Phaser.)

Elves should know better than to mess with a dragon's hoard.

 

"It's not my fault you have nice, flammable things, May." She flicked a forked tongue out at her sister.

 

May simply rolled her eyes and turned back to their nephew. "Ignore the sourdrake. Try it."

Peter gave her a nervous smile, then focused on the house plant. He dragged his hands around it, coaxing the flames out of the pot before teasing them into a swirling ball between his palms.

“Well done!” May said, smiling. “Catch?”

 

Eyebrows furrowing in concentration, Peter pulled the fire tighter before tossing it to his aunt. May caught it easily.

Darcy watched, drowsing, as May drew the fire into herself, skin pinking slightly with heat.

Glancing down at his other, blanket-swathed aunt, Peter proffered a fist. Darcy grudgingly bumped it.

 

“Goo’ job,” she grumbled. He smiled anyways, practically glowing with success.

 

“I’m gonna go tell the neighbors it was a baking accident,” Peter said. He graciously accepted a high-five from May on his way out.

 

Darcy returned her sister's proud grin before remembering she was sick and grumpy. She snuggled deeper into the couch, trying to ignore another prickling sneeze.

The house plant was charred beyond repair. May sighed sadly at it, then dumped the whole pot unceremoniously into the trash.

 

“Why are you always in trouble, Darcy?” May asked, flopping down on the couch beside her sister. “I thought you were going to have a few quiet years for a change, but noooooooo…”

 

“Nod my fauld. The Asgardian crashed into _me_ ,” Darcy grumbled. "Rest was all coincidence."

 

“Hmm.” May was unconvinced. “I think you like the excitement of it.”

 

“Maybe,” Darcy said. Then she suppressed another sneeze.

May handed her a non-flammable tissue. They lapsed into a comfortable silence.

Peter snuck back inside a few minutes later, flashing a double thumbs-up at his aunts.

 

“Cuddle,” Darcy demanded. The nestling laughed at her grabby hands.

 

“Jeez, Aunt Darcy, so demanding.” Peter said. “Just let me get my coat off, so you don’t accidentally cook me alive...”

 

May sat bolt upright on the couch.

 

“I almost forgot! Darce, I think I saw your Brooklyn boy the other day!”

 

Darcy coughed out a small fireball in surprise (which, luckily, landed in the bowl of water placed at her feet for just such an occurrence and fizzled out). “Steeb?”

 

May nodded enthusiastically, fumbling for her phone. “Hang on, I took a picture. We were near Stark Tower. At first I thought it couldn't be him, humans just don't long enough. But stranger things have happened…and it might just be a relative, of course…. ” May scrolled through her camera feed. “There. Isn’t that a remarkable resemblance?”

 

Darcy squinted at the image. Her eyes kept misting up from all the heat stuffed under her skin. _Dumb sickness. Never eating another elf ever again._ Impatient, she brushed the tears away.

The man was tall, blond, and in possession of an annoying amount of muscles. His nose and mouth, visible under a pair of sunglasses, did look a little familiar...but...

 

“M’ Steeb was smaller.” She pouted. “Squishable.”

 

Peter came over to peer at the phone screen. His eyes went wide as saucers.

 

“Um, May?” Both dragons looked up. “That kinda looks like...Captain America.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh what did you think? We're a little in love with this idea, so hopefully more people are on board with it too :)  
> Next Up: Steve Encounters a Fire-Breather (1935)  
> -EmS & Peachgalaxy


End file.
